Sunday, September 23, 2007

Ten Things That Dumb People Do On Public Transportation

Just a few things I noticed on the SF Muni (may be applicable elsewhere).

1. That thing that opens up, and people move in and out? That's a door. Don't stand there unless the car you're on is a sardine can..and you complain that people are pushing you...

2. In the aforementioned "Sardine Can" situation, and you are near the door, it is OK to leave the car and let people out. Don't worry, you can get back in.

3. Your backpack/bags double your width. Take those things off and put them by your feet. Smacking people with your backpack is not good...And don't complain that someone is pushing you, you're smacking me in the head with your big ol' bag, it's your fault.

4. It is crowded on the bus, take only ONE seat. Don't put your crap on the other seat. Don't put your feet up. Don't lie down.

5. Cell phone etiquette. Quiet voices, please. I don't want to know about what you did with your boyfriend/girlfriend last night. I don't want to know about how bad your job is, or how hot your coworker is. Also, I don't want to hear you break up with your significant other or have an argument with them. Neither do the rest of the passengers. This yelling, no swearing...and PLEASE, if you hang up on them in anger...don't call them back!

6. Let people out. Are you really in THAT big of a rush? Did you know that if you let everyone out, it's easier to get in?

7. Stop Request in the underground. You don't have to pull that string in the underground, it'll stop by itself...

8. Don't say you were "going to pay". NO you weren't. Take your ticket. Shut up.

9. It is OK to move to the back of the bus. Nobody is going to kill you back there.

10. Don't sing on the bus either, or start treating your seat as a drum. You're not that good. Also, if I can hear your music blasting out of your earphones...why is it up so loud?!!! ARE YOU DEAF...(or, at least, you will be...).

* Also, no explicit public displays of affection. That's just nasty. Get a room, not a bus.

I don't intend to change anyone's behavior with my post...just point out the stupid stuff.


Jet said...

I have the SAME problems on BART. Except I tend to not take my backpack off on BART because I tend to have my $2000 laptop in it.
But...ok....I need to get off the train, please don't rush into me. The train won't start moving while I'm getting off. There's time.

Anyway...I think your next post should be the stupid questions people ask retail employees. Like this scenario:
Person 1 points to Bob Marley vinyl, "Is that an early version of a CD?"
Employee 1 takes a deep breath and holds back the scathing insults, "'s a vinyl."
Guess they've never heard of laser disks.

When you work for
this get the dumbest questions.


dee lab said...

This should be posted on the back of each seat, that way there is no ignoring it and hopefully there will be more public transit savvy people. Oh, and the cell phone etiquette thing...I couldn't agree with you more. And while we're on that note, some people's ringtones are just plain out embarrassing.

Somalian Banquet Coordinator said...

Top ten lists are always amusing. No doubt, people are stupid, especially in public settings.

The worst experience I had on Muni involved a dude who couldn't control his flatulence. It was more unpleasant than the La Brea Tar Pits on a hot day.

My top ten list would include the most tempestuous behaviors people are capable of displaying at a gym.

I like observational blogs, as I have one of my own. They allow for so much creative, humorous criticism. Real life tends to make the best stories.

No-No Spot said...

I also hate when people cough on you, without covering their mouths...or lean on you or sleep on you. I remember I was in Japan and I rode the train a lot...sometimes either drunk business men or really tired college kids would fall asleep and slowly drift onto my shoulder...or in one case onto my lap(aaaahhhhh)NO! Not OKAY...get off...drunks's inevitable. So, I learned to move, in one, swift movement and BAM, they would fall.
Anyway here's sardines.

mariedrennan said...

Ah, a perennial topic that never, ever fails to produce plenty of fresh horror. Very funny and well written post -- you go deep into the topic and really give the specifics! I've never understood the whole deal with wide open space at the back of the bus, while people in the front two thirds are suffocating and trampling each other. Great work this week, looking forward to more!

Bugs to fix:

be consistent with capitalizing "I"

"complain why people are pushing" (change to "complain that" or "wonder why")

"increase your width by 2" (double your width?)

#4 Its crowded (change to "it's")

Quiet voices please (needs comma before "please")

Neither does the rest of the passengers (change to "neither do")

hangup on them in anger (change to "hang up")

#7 itsself (typo)

Deandra said...

Well written article.